About
Aging out loud is a five track EP, showcasing songwriting which spans over 20 years. This EP is a look into my identity being formed - both musically and personally. It explores different influences - with what's shaped my writing approach, and what has grown with me over the years.
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Hannah Montana is a tv programme which inspired my music style and themes in my tween and adolescent years, as well as Miley Cyrus as she grew as a singer songwriter in her own right.
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As you scroll through the website, you’ll be taken on a nostalgic journey, starting with Tween, with themes such as staying true to yourself and authenticity, with a pop rock feel. Then, you will reach adolescence, a time of growing into yourself and forming your individual identity. You’ll get a look into my teenage mind and what occupied it.
Ending with adulthood, the outgrowing of people and finding my feet
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I hope you enjoy and have fun while listening.
TWEEN
Being a tween was all about finding my voice and having the dream that I wanted to become a pop star when I grew up. I loved singing songs that were a challenge, and looked up to singers who had an amazing vocal range. I realised I was able to write my own songs through poems and applied my own melody to them. I would study peoples lyrics by ear on my CD player. During my tween years, I learned to play the basics on the guitar which also helped me understand different sounds and melodic ideas, although my skillset was very limited.
Songwriting would come to me naturally when I had a lot on my mind but didn't want to keep a journal.
Track 1
Title: People
Age: 8-10
Genre: Pop
Themes: Trust, betrayal, authenticity
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'People' is a song written at a time of my life where I was becoming more aware of my surroundings and creating relationships with peers. In the song, I'm fed up with how people are acting towards others. There's generalisation in it, with the word 'people' being repeated throughout. There's a sense of naivety with how I'm viewing people, and not much explored in terms of context.
"Why don't we all just be nice, and before saying something, think twice": This is something that is said to younger kids by adults as a basic way of how you should treat people. It doesn't take into consideration complex emotions or reasons, however it shows a simplistic view, which is what I had when I wrote the song.
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I would develop songs through writing poems from a young age. This is how lyrics would flow from me. I had a heavy heart and I felt like I was starting to not trust people. In turn, this would make me withhold parts of myself. The second verse and bridge showcases lyrics from a separate song I wrote at a similar time called 'Trust'. There's a lot of emotion applied to words I may not have truly been able to convey yet, such as 'trust is a strong word'. This doesn't entirely make sense however what I really meant was that trust should be protected.
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When the song was written, it didn't have an instrumental and was purely just lyrics with a vocal melody. Working with my producer, I was able to bring my younger vision to life with an upbeat pop song with synths, percussion and guitar.
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Songs such as 'This is me' from camp rock would inspire me, as this is how I wanted to feel. 'This is me' is a song about identity and not being afraid to be yourself.
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'People' captures the youthfulness and childhood influences such as Hannah Montana, particularly with the instrumental and the themes.
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Listen below:
Above shows an image of what my room looked like growing up. From left to right, the HSM framed photo is the exact one that was on my wall. Justin Bieber calendar and Hannah Montana poster. There are influences
dotted around the room such as Leona Lewis, Hannah Montana, Celine Dion and Miley Cyrus
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People
ADOLESCENCE
Adolescence was a time of exploring more musical styles such as indie and alternative music. However, my songwriting style remained pop. My musical inspirations were predominately Miley Cyrus, whose songs aged with me. I discovered more songwriting influences such as Julia Michaels, who made her artist debut the same year. She'd also wrote songs for Disney Channel, such as the Austin and Ally theme song. Julia Michaels was mainly a songwriter before she released her own music.
Track 2
Title: Not Today
Age: 19
Genre: Pop
Themes: Anxiety, trust, embarrassment
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Similar to 'people', 'Not today' it's about, wait for it... people. Particularly perception. I'm hyper aware of myself and how I've acted after a social event. It explores anxiety, and shows a maturation in terms of lyrical content. The lyrics capture being a teenager, exploring the world and trying to find your feet. The song is a window into my brain and life at the time, and I can still relate to the song today.
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There are similarities to the character Hannah Montana, as having anxiety feels like living a double life at times, in terms of your inner and outer self. 'Not today' explores this, with where I want to engage but my mind over analyses the situation. I then retract myself.
There are metaphors in the first verse, such as "breaking walls and wishing you could build them back up". This refers to letting your guard down and regretting it. There's a simile, with describing life as a 'knot', this has connotations of being tangled and stuck. The second verse looks at not knowing where my future is going or how I should act, hoping I'll have the answers one day. I talk about how my brain may get in the way, with the knowledge I think I have. It talks about feeling the need to prove yourself to others. The chorus explores how your mind can play tricks on you but to choose to ignore it.
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I wrote this song to help me get over embarrassment, and to get something good out of a bad situation. This tends to be the reason I write songs. I believe everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is to get a good song out of it!
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It's an upbeat fun song to sing, from a teenager who felt she had the world on her shoulders, however she was able to say 'not today'.
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Track 3
Title: See Where The Night Is Gonna Take (SWTNIGT)
Age: 22
Genre: Dance-Pop
Themes: Party
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SWTNIGT is a shift in terms of musical style. Similar to 'Not today', it's about a night out and inner turmoil. It was written during lockdown, and it made me think of how previous nights out would go. It explores being carefree and young, but being on a different wavelength to your friends.
The chorus has a strong repetitive hook. The first and second verse are opposing each other with "left, right" "up, down" - this is in relation to someone disagreeing with you constantly and them not being on the same page. "Woke up early, you’re still out" shows the need to keep up with people, but being on different paths. There are whispered vocals in the background, pleading with the lyrics. "Don't go" and when the brain is convinced, say "okay, go". There are also vocals that say "go home". This reflects an inner conflicting dialogue happening. There are chime noises that give the vibe of being outside in the wind. There are DJ spin deck noises, which are related to club nights and a night out. This song is a change for me in terms of style of singing and genre being more dance, however it keeps a pop structure which is similar to previous songs. The hook is a lot more evident in this song with it being repeated throughout.
Similar to ‘we can't stop’ by Miley Cyrus, with the deep voice at the beginning, the lyrical content about a night out and being carefree and young. It's a simple chorus with repetition. Miley was close to the age I was when I wrote SWTNIGT.
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Listen below
See Where The Night Is Gonna Take
See where the night is gonna take
Listen below
Not Today
Adulthood
The beginning of adulthood has saw me fall back in love with songwriting again, using it as a tool to express complex feelings. My musical influences have a strong focus on lyricism and meaning. Miley Cyrus continues to be an apparent influence, particularly the song 'The Climb', which is one of my favourite songs to date.
Track 4
Title: Sorry Not Sorry
Age: 25
Genre: Pop
Themes: Friendship, coming of age, confidence
‘Sorry Not Sorry’ was the first song I’d written since joining university and taking my music more seriously again. I had written it at a songwriting retreat, where the brief was to write an apology to someone.
It has a typical pop structure of verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus - outro. The BPM is 115. It’s a lyric heavy song that has clear links to songs from when I was a tween, with the attitude and sarcasm: “Sorry, but I'm not sorry”, “You're not my responsibility”. The chorus notes rise at the end of each sentence, creating a melodic rhyme. The bridge has a desperate sounding tone, where I'm stressing to the other person that they also need to let me go.
The song has influences of Miley Cyrus, with her song ‘used to be young’ which was released a month before I wrote this song. The lyrics are about not confining yourself to the idea someone has of who you are. It links back to the idea of staying true to yourself and being authentic, which is what ‘people’ was exploring. I wanted this song to be a piano ballad, like ‘The climb’ by Miley Cyrus. This song signifies adult writing and structure in my songwriting journey, with being
able to have the full structure that I had wanted previously but may not have had the capabilities.
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Something I’ve gathered through revisiting my old songs is I tend to write for my future self, and I tend to catch up with myself. For example, with this song, it wasn’t until a year later I finally let this friendship go. Songwriting is a release for me, and I see it as a type of therapy. I can get everything out on paper and document where I’m at in my life too.
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Listen below
Sorry Not Sorry
Track 5
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Title: Journey
Age: 27
Genre: Pop
Themes: Motivation, risk taking, the unknown.
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Initially this song was about climbing a mountain, with the words being both literal and open to interpretation. It relates to 'The Climb' by Miley Cyrus, which is about the journey to reaching your dreams. It's about keeping on going, and working through your limiting thoughts and feelings in relation to your goals. Such as: goals being unrealistic. It's about metaphorically taking the plunge and having nothing to lose.
The song addresses feeling overlooked and being the underdog (verse 2). There's a link to ‘not today’ with ‘trying to figure out what it all means’, similar to ‘dont know what it is dont know what to be, just floating around’. This shows that even in adulthood, there’s a lot more I've to figure out. I wrote the song at the age of 27, which is an age where I questioned everything in my life.
Again, this is a song for my future self, and sums up what this EP means to me. Finally taking the step and creating an EP of all the songs that mean the most to me. The use of a piano before the outro to replicate potential danger, like a shark. However, there is a peaceful piano to show that I've succeeded in going for my goals and I’ve landed safely. “I learned I can swim”, shows that I’m able to keep my head above water and manage. This has a tie to “sorry not sorry” where I say “I never learned how to swim”.
The production is fully made by vocal sounds up until the piano is introduced at the outro of the song. It’s a motivational song. Motivation is a theme I like to explore, and is also my favourite type of music. This EP contains songs that are about finding and forming my identity.
The song has a longer chorus compared to the verses, which is something I adopted more as an adult as opposed to the one-lined chorus’ in my adolescence years.
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Listen below
Journey
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Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and explore the website. I hope you enjoyed. You know me a lot better now!
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